Silly Old Uncle Gadahn
Adam Gadahn is like America’s crazy old uncle that no one wants to be around because he’ll get caught feeling up grandma’s tits, or putting his hand down your kid’s pants. Today the “American Al Qaeda Leader” Adam Gay-Dawn released a new video from his hideaway in his uncle’s basement, warning Bush that he will be greeted by bombs and stick throwing of the highest order. However, like all al-Qweerda threats, it’s hollow, meaningless, and the likely-hood that anything relevant will happen is nil.
After this horror-inducing threat, Adam took out his passport and tore it up while having a low blood-sugar attack. When realizing his error he cried, “Shit, now I’m stuck here…”. As he sobbed, he proceeded to knock back about 17 Twinkies and then chase those with two Diet-Cokes.
Finishing off the five greatest minutes in history ever recorded on a Sony Handy-Cam, he declared that America’s mortgage crisis ”was triggered by right-wing fanatics trying to usher in the ‘end days.’”
Oh uncle Gadahn! Can’t you come back to Orange County and open back up your bicycle repair shop? We really miss you, and your witty insights, and gosh darn, the kids around here just aren’t molested with the same level of care and concern since you left for Pakistan. Our community needs you Adam, please come back!… Oh right you tore up your passport…
Guess your shit out of luck now Mohummad al’ Fat-fuck.
OH, and if by any miracle you DO happen to make it back onto American soil, it will be my personal mission to find you, skin your fat-ass alive, then wear your skin ala Ed Gein as a guest on Letterman.
January 20, 2008 at 8:28 am
I only wish Hollywood would do the same thing. Go oversees and then tear up their passports. Then let our troops use their hotels for artillery practice
September 9, 2008 at 12:36 am
[...] Grab-Ass 9/10/08 Adam Gadahn might be pizza toppings… Our good friend and the O.C.’s premiere child molestor, Adam Gadahn, otherwise known as “Osama al [...]