ITS OSCAR TIME, AND HERE ARE YOUR WINN3RZ
Hi everyone, my name is Biseor, and I fucking hate celebrities and their worthless awards shows. My most favorite of them (to hate) are the Oscars. Why? 1.) Because it’s the easiest target, the most televised celebrity cock-suck there is. 2.) Because it’s the most foul leftist celeb ‘circle-jerk onto a cracker’ there is. However this cracker isn’t fed to the one who cums last, it’s fed to everyone who watches this travesty with abated breath.
So for all of you butterhogs out there are still hopelessly longing to watch Brad Pitt’s ballsack dangle on live television, but are sick of watching Michael Moore bore everyone to death while he mounts a dead Whoopie Goldberg, I’ve compiled a ’safe’ rundown of the Oscar results. It’s my public service to you, the fat house-wife.
Oh, and Scarlett Johansson is a stupid bitch.
Winner For Best Picture
No one fucking cares.
Winner for Achievement in Directing
Some self important douche-bag.
Winner for Best Original Screenplay
Juno fucking sucks and wasn’t funny.
Winner for Best Adapted Screenplay
Fuck off. What a shitty category too.
Winner for Best Actress
Some stupid whore.
Winner for Achievement in Cinematography
Some “artiste” that thinks he can compose shots really well.
Winner for Best Actor
George Clooney wins for being the most smug and self-righteous cock-sucker.
Winner for Best Film Editing
I don’t give a shit.
Winner for Achievement in Sound Editing
The slurp sound George Clooney makes when he sucks his own white haired scrotum.
Winner for Best Foreign-Language Film
Whatever is most critical of America.
Winner for Best Original Song
Sucking my own cock – George Clooney
Winner for Achievement in Sound Mixing
The slurping SFX from George Clooney sucking his own 3.5″ floppy.
Winner for Best Art Direction
Sweeny Todd - because Tim Burton is such an artist. Yeah, no, really, he is so great. Really I’m serious.
Winner for Best Documentary Feature
Whatever is the most anti-American leftist propaganda.
Winner for Best Documentary Short
Sean Penn sinking in his paddle boat during Katrina.
Winner for Best Supporting Actress
Another stupid hag. Take your pick.
Winner for Best Animated Feature Film
Ratatouille
Winner for Achievement in Makeup
George Clooney for taking a money shot to face from the casting director so that he could be in a new ‘political-thriller’.
Winner for Achievement in Costume Design
Ed Begley Jr’s pants. – Ed Begley Jr.
Vote for Best Live-Action Short Film
Sean Penn molests his own children.
Vote for Best Visual Effects
Computers.
Vote for Best Supporting Actor
No one cares, get over it.
Well that’s it for this year. Now go die.
February 27, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Funny comments on your list, Biseor. I forget who wins what award before the Oscar show even ends. I watch for the clothes and the jewels. If I didn’t i wouldn’t be a girl, would I?
You can tell what the Academy Award interest was at the Speakeasy. Nobody even started a topic about it. Come over and paste your list. LOL
February 28, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Fuck the Oscars, MGS4 has a ship date!
SNNNNAAAAKKKKEEEEE!!!!
March 1, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Goddamn dirty video games. First COD4, now Gears of war 2 set for fall release.
March 2, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Not to mention GTA4 and Ninja Gaiden 2. Fuckin’ a.
March 2, 2008 at 11:25 pm
It’ll be a good year for video games….unless you’ve got a Wii. *snicker*.
March 3, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I’m glad I don’t have to play as a monkey again in the next GTA. playing the last one I was always rooting for the cops to kill me.
March 3, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Oh and Battlefield Bad Company look regoddamndiculos.
March 3, 2008 at 4:29 pm
March 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I liked San Andreas…..I made those buster Ballas Grove Street’s bitches. I cannot wait for Mercenaries 2 to come out so I can kick some Venezuelan ass.
March 4, 2008 at 11:50 am
San Andreas should have just been called GTA Reality
March 8, 2008 at 12:21 pm
that battlefield looks great but will it give me the same feeling i got last night when i stabbd 3 ppl in the back at the same time as the meth drained down the bak of my throat/?
March 9, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I like that it BF the people actually scream in pain as you knife them.
March 9, 2008 at 4:33 pm
The sniper kills in COD4 are so far the best. The blood splattering against the wall behind the victim after a headshot is amazing.
March 9, 2008 at 9:01 pm
March 12, 2008 at 5:24 pm
“If you any comments, questions, or concerns you may contact Biseor by phone at: (415) 922-0650″
DANZA CALLD DAT AND COULDNT UDNERSTAND A DAMNED THING THAT MONKEY BITCH SAID.
March 18, 2008 at 2:39 am
hey evrybody. biseor died march 13 in car collision. he left his wife and cd collection to me. maybe battlesuasage start a new sight now.
March 19, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Oh for fuck’s sake, is this a joke?
March 19, 2008 at 6:32 pm
his mortorc ycle smased head on into a chrysler sebring convertable. his wife now rides my rigid shaft nightly.
March 22, 2008 at 12:42 am
Yes, I did die in a terrible auto-collision. Sorry dudes.
March 22, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Replying from beyond the grave…must be fucking Easter
March 23, 2008 at 10:51 am
hope biseor don’t kill danza
March 24, 2008 at 7:04 am
IM CAHLLIN DA POELICE!
http://fatcop.10-8.org/Use/FC-101.JPG
March 27, 2008 at 1:43 pm
DANZA LIKES TO SEND PEOPLE PICTURES ON XBOX LIVE. I KNOW NOT TO OPEN THEM NOW.
March 27, 2008 at 5:41 pm
YOU SEEN WHERE DANZA GOT SHOT WITH THE GUN?
April 8, 2008 at 10:06 am
Which has more credibility at this point: The Oscars, or Nickelodeon’s Kid Choice Awards???
April 9, 2008 at 2:11 pm
avn awards>>>nick awards>>>oscars