You can grab his gun now…
http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/080405/clsa013.html?.v=11
Charlton Heston is dead, however his teeth are still alive, but in critical condition.
http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/080405/clsa013.html?.v=11
Charlton Heston is dead, however his teeth are still alive, but in critical condition.
April 8, 2008 at 10:05 am
You can keep his old hunting rifle. Personally, the .50 cal sitting in my closet does the job of keeping the government honest much better. As for the teeth, I’m wondering if he swiped Farnsworth’s nuclear powered teeth when he was napping. I am saddened that I don’t have a sound file where Heston screams, “Get your hands off me you damned dirty Hippie!”. My life will never be complete now…
April 14, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Just got back from Pontiac Mich. The police force was dropped due to funding. Sweet mother of fuck that was the most fun I’ve had in a city in my life. It was like visiting a 3rd world country full of fat people and cheap beer.
Hotel $34 for the weekend – hotwire
$3 pitchers of beer at Aspens
$2 shots and pints everywhere
Smiling Negroes dancing in the streets.
PS I watched a city council meeting on TV. All blacks screaming niggerbabble at each other one fat Negress called the speaker “Shrek”!!!!!
Thank you Kwame Killpatrick! oooooooh ooooooooh ahhhhhh ahhhhhhhh!!!
April 14, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Hmm, so where’s a good sniper position when the riots begin? I better book in advance!!!!
April 20, 2008 at 8:22 am
Inmate files restraining order against GTA
Saturday 19-Apr-2008 10:35 AM You can’t make this stuff up
30 Comments
An inmate residing at the Federal Corrections Institute in Williamsburg County, S.C. has filed a handwritten complaint against parties including Take-Two and Rockstar Games.
On April 9, inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, 31, filed a request for a temporary restraining order in a US District Court against Grand Theft Auto publisher Take-Two, developer Rockstar, FCI Williamsburg and “Grand Theft Auto” itself, claiming that the defendants “put me in prison.”
Riches, who’s incarcerated for wire fraud, wrote in his filing that he seeks a temporary restraining order against the “newest Grand Theft Auto games.”
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The inmate stated, “Defendants contributed to Plaintiff committing identity theft. Defendant’s games show sex, drugs and violence which offends me.”
Riches continued, “Defendants put me in prison. I face imminent danger from violent inmates who played Grand Theft Auto who will knock me out and take my gold Jesus cross.”
FCI Williamsburg is a medium security prison that is currently home to 1,638 male inmates.
This isn’t the first time that Riches has filed a lawsuit from prison. Riches sued suspended NFL quarterback Michael Vick last year for “$63,000,000,000 billion dollars,” alleging Vick had ties to Al Qaeda. He didn’t win. He’s also unsuccessfully sued Martha Stuart, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, President George W. Bush, Steve Jobs and Britney Spears, according to cited entries on Wikipedia.
Riches, a.k.a. 40948-018, is projected to be released in 2012, according to the Federal Bureau of Prisons’ inmate locator.
April 20, 2008 at 12:33 pm
“Defendants put me in prison. I face imminent danger from violent inmates who played Grand Theft Auto who will knock me out and take my gold Jesus cross.”
LMAO
April 20, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Riches sued suspended NFL quarterback Michael Vick last year for “$63,000,000,000 billion dollars,” alleging Vick had ties to Al Qaeda.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA OH SHIT THIS GUY RULES.
April 21, 2008 at 2:12 am
Conyers defends attack on Cockrel
‘He’s bullying,’ she says
BY SUZETTE HACKNEY • FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER • April 12, 2008
In the blockbuster animated movie trilogy, Shrek is a bald, rotund and grumpy — but lovable — green ogre who loves to eat eyeballs.
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In Detroit, Shrek is City Council President Ken Cockrel Jr. At least in the eyeballs of council President Pro Tem Monica Conyers.
Cockrel brought a special investigative hearing into the police whistle-blower lawsuit settlement to a temporary adjournment Friday after Conyers interrupted him and the two got into an argument.
Conyers, wife of U.S. Rep. John Conyers, D-Detroit, demanded that Cockrel respect her and twice called him Shrek.
“You’re not my daddy,” Conyers yelled. “You do that at home, not here. Give me some respect ’cause I’m tired of that. You may not do that at home, but you gon do it up in here.
“Grow up!” she continued. “Control your house and you’ll know how to treat women better.”
Cockrel responded by saying that Conyers had little room to talk about the issue of respect and interrupting others.
The argument erupted after Conyers asked a city attorney who was testifying whether the council could be sued by Detroit residents for approving the $8.4-million settlement.
Councilwoman JoAnn Watson said: “They can sue you; I voted no.”
Conyers told Watson to stop interrupting and disrespecting her. She added: “We all know how you voted; you don’t have to keep repeating it.”
Moments later, Conyers interrupted Cockrel as he was questioning Carl Edwards, an independent Detroit attorney who was testifying at the hearing. Cockrel reminded Conyers that he had the floor and banged his gavel repeatedly.
When he threatened to adjourn the meeting, she responded: “Do it, baby. Do it. Do it.”
As the two yelled at each other, residents attending the hearings yelled, as well: “You’re disrespecting the citizens!” and “This is a shame!”
Conyers later told the Free Press that she does not have a temper, and that her Shrek moniker for Cockrel was spontaneous.
“My position is about the Shrek is … he’s a big guy … the president is a big guy,” she said. “I felt as if he was trying to bully me into not letting people know the information.
“I don’t call anybody anything behind their back. It just came out. He’s bullying. And I don’t want to be bullied.”
Cockrel later called Conyers’ behavior infantile.
“I resent another colleague attacking me or any other council member just because they’re asking questions,” Cockrel said. “That’s not the way we should be doing business.”
Contact SUZETTE HACKNEY at 313-222-6614 or shackney@freepress.com. Staff writer Ben Schmitt contributed to this report.
April 21, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Where’s Biseor hiding? Not keeping up with current events lately. I hope that guy mentioned sues Hustler for Carpal Tunnel. As for the monkey cage that is Detroit’s City Hall…ugh. Where to begin. Forget that, we need to know where it ends. I’m hoping with some kind of sterility drug put in the water supply.
April 21, 2008 at 4:02 pm
i hope everyone has a very fun earth day tomorrow. i’ll be burning 2 tires and some old pvc pipes.
April 21, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Don’t burn the PVC! You can make garbage launchers from them!!!!!
April 21, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Good thing they banned handguns!!!!!! ahahahahahahahaha
———————————————————————————–
Bloody Weekend: 32 Shot, 2 Stabbed, 6 Dead
Monday, April 21, 2008
From cbs2chicago.com:
CHICAGO (CBS) ― A violent and deadly weekend continues in Chicago. At least 12 people have been shot, two of them killed, since Saturday morning. Two others were stabbed in a home invasion. This comes after at least 20 people were shot, four of them killed, from Friday night through early Saturday.
A 28-year-old man was shot and killed at an auto body repair shop on the Southwest Side Saturday morning. Raul Lemus was shot in the stomach at 2520 W. 59th St. at about 11:20 a.m.
Lemus, of 4630 S. Talman Av., died several hours later at Stroger Hospital, making him the sixth person killed in Chicago since Friday night. Police said the shooting appeared to be gang related.
Also Saturday morning, Michael Giles, 26, was shot and killed inside his home at 336 N. Avers Av. Harrison Area detectives are investigating.
———————————————————————————–
\
Oh and I stopped reading the article right after I read “Muslim scientists”
————————————————————————————-
Muslim call to adopt Mecca time
By Magdi Abdelhadi
BBC Arab affairs analyst
File photo of Muslim pilgrims attending prayers at the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Saudi Arabia.
One cleric said science had proved Mecca to be the centre of the Earth
Muslim scientists and clerics have called for the adoption of Mecca time to replace GMT, arguing that the Saudi city is the true centre of the Earth.
Mecca is the direction all Muslims face when they perform their daily prayers.
The call was issued at a conference held in the Gulf state of Qatar under the title: Mecca, the Centre of the Earth, Theory and Practice.
One geologist argued that unlike other longitudes, Mecca’s was in perfect alignment to magnetic north.
He said the English had imposed GMT on the rest of the world by force when Britain was a big colonial power, and it was about time that changed.
Mecca watch
A prominent cleric, Sheikh Youssef al-Qaradawy, said modern science had at last provided evidence that Mecca was the true centre of the Earth; proof, he said, of the greatness of the Muslim “qibla” – the Arabic word for the direction Muslims turn to when they pray.
The meeting also reviewed what has been described as a Mecca watch, the brainchild of a French Muslim.
The watch is said to rotate anti-clockwise and is supposed to help Muslims determine the direction of Mecca from any point on Earth.
The meeting in Qatar is part of a popular trend in some Muslim societies of seeking to find Koranic precedents for modern science.
It is called “Ijaz al-Koran”, which roughly translates as the “miraculous nature of the holy text”.
The underlying belief is that scientific truths were also revealed in the Muslim holy book, and it is the work of scholars to unearth and publicise the textual evidence.
But the movement is not without its critics, who say that the notion that modern science was revealed in the Koran confuses spiritual truth, which is constant, and empirical truth, which depends on the state of science at any given point in time.
————————————————————————————
April 21, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Hmm…nope…no scientific truths I can read. The “Women are for babies, the men are for pleasure” chapter alone disproves that theory. I will say I do enjoy the idea of Mecca being the center of the earth. Center of the earth= center mass of a target. Let’s nuke it!
April 21, 2008 at 9:52 pm
If that ever happens I will dance in the streets for CNN to film.
April 22, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Biseor, update the site.
April 22, 2008 at 8:03 pm
It’s official, Biseor is too busy supporting the Obama campaign to update his site.
ooooga booooga cell phone camma BISEOR!!!!
April 23, 2008 at 12:07 pm
This just in!
NIGGERS AND WIZARDS!
There used to be a fat girl that rented the condo next to me that loved playing dungeons and dragons. She also loved fucking niggers,
Niggers and wizards folks, Niggers and Wizards!
April 23, 2008 at 7:00 pm
maybe that’s what biseor is doing.
April 23, 2008 at 7:07 pm
It’s “spring cleaning” time in Chicago…..the gang-bangers are settling all the vendettas that sprung up over the winter. I’m glad they’re 150 miles from me!
April 24, 2008 at 7:02 am
POLICE: BUSH BASHER SMASHES DISABLED TEEN
By PHILIP MESSING
Maureen Lovetro
Maureen Lovetro
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April 23, 2008 –
A man heckling First Lady Laura Bush and daughter Jenna outside the 92nd Street Y was arrested after he punched a wheelchair-bound girl whose parents has told him to shut up, authorities said yesterday. German Talis, 22, was shouting obscenities at the Bushes, who were leaving the building Tuesday, when he crossed paths with Wendy and John Lovetro and their daughter Maureen, 18, who has cerebral palsy.
They had been in the audience to hear the Bushes talk about their children’s book, “Read All About It.”
“He began yelling about Iraq and Iran at Jenna Bush. She was waving at the crowd. I told the guy, ‘What are you doing? Shut up. This is about a child and books,’ ” said John Lovetro. “He was unperturbed. I said, ‘Get out of here! You’re being a moron!’ ”
The next thing he knew, Talis was allegedly punching Maureen – a fan of the first lady since meeting her in 2004.
“I heard my daughter hysterical yelling, ‘He’s hitting me!’ ” said Wendy Lovetro.
“He punched her on the shoulder blades, but that wasn’t enough,” she said.
“My husband pushed the wheelchair away from him and he reached beyond my husband and began pounding my daughter in the thigh.”
The two men fought as the president’s family drove off. Cops broke them up and busted Talis on charges of assault and resisting arrest.
Maureen was not seriously injured.
April 24, 2008 at 12:08 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqOSNI7l0bQ
wooooohoooo the video is out!. Gee I can’t understand how people wouldn’t want black leaders…..
April 24, 2008 at 12:10 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyilCGQNc9A&feature=related
different angle
April 24, 2008 at 12:18 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ET0IsgRFL4&watch_response
Black peeeeeepoes rebuttal.
April 24, 2008 at 12:28 pm
It’s like starwars was real
April 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm
i think this comment from someone on youtube pretty much sums up the situation…
“7 hairs from being Baboons.”
April 24, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Danza are you gonna have GTA4 on opening day?
April 24, 2008 at 5:46 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHe0vjIQdnE
HAHAHAHA TNB AT LOCAL KFC!!!
April 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm
i didn’t preorder it but i’m hoping to find it early at a local kmart. nobody shops at kmart except mexicans.
can i join the [tnb] crew on cod4?
April 25, 2008 at 9:08 am
Of course but I haven’t touched COD4 in ages. I didn’t pre-order GTA4 either but I’m sure EB games or Walmart will have a copy.
April 26, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I’m getting mine from Gamefly, I can wait a few days. Either of you have a PS3? I’ve been messing around with the Metal Gear Online beta that just started…it rawks!
April 27, 2008 at 12:46 am
sorry tibeerius, but….. FUCK SONY!
April 28, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I let my XB360 and PS3 fuck each other…..a few weeks later they pop out a Wii which I then sell on ebay for big bucks.
April 28, 2008 at 8:06 pm
hahaha
April 28, 2008 at 8:09 pm
forgot to add… i think wii would be fucking sweet if it had something like xboxlive and a camera so i could send folks pictures of my ass.
April 29, 2008 at 5:23 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZLDaJrpB-M
The best episode of TNN outdoors I have ever seen.
April 30, 2008 at 2:32 pm
hahahahahha “i’m gonna have to pass it up though because they ain’t no beard on it” and “smile nigger you’re on candid camera” hahahaha!
May 4, 2008 at 12:38 am
got gta4 yesterday and that’s a great game. there’s so much to do in it it’s unbelievable, hell i’ve just been watching the tv shows for the last hour and a half and i’m beginning to wonder when/if they’re gonna start repeating. they went all out on this game.
May 4, 2008 at 10:23 am
i feel bad, uh no i don’t, for those trying to play it on ps3.
http://www.gamespot.com/news/6190279.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;7
May 4, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I’ll have it on tuesday. Played at a friends place and the best TV show so far was the republican space rangers.
May 4, 2008 at 3:51 pm
yes!
May 5, 2008 at 1:58 am
motherfucker…
May 5, 2008 at 11:29 am
Merry Christmas Danza
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a55/theturdburglar/romantichorseride.jpg
From
http://www.niggermania.ws/newforum/index.php
May 5, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Got the 3 red rings of death today. Guess I won’t be buying GTA4 for a few weeks.
May 6, 2008 at 1:15 am
RROD fucking dirty goddamn xbox!
May 6, 2008 at 1:39 am
ouch !
May 6, 2008 at 2:49 am
http://i32.tinypic.com/29mkm8g.jpg
ILL BE SPENDING MY FREE TIME POSTING THESE ON MCDONALDS WINDOWS.
May 6, 2008 at 3:00 am
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a55/theturdburglar/romantichorseride.jpg
May 6, 2008 at 10:31 am
buy a new xbox! i wonder if i can be charged with a hate crime for posting those on mcdonalds windows.
May 6, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I got the PS3 version from Gamefly and it works fine…sorry Danza. lol
May 6, 2008 at 5:17 pm
i hope it blows up… no, not really. how many hours into it are ya? i’ve got about 9-10, but mostly from just fucking around liberty city, very few story missions.
May 6, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Ok so I bought GTA4. Got the RROD. Called Microsoft, they are sending me a new system (no charge) But it will take about a week or 2 to receive it. I was desperate so I tried the Towel trick and it fucking works!
Who knows how long it will last but it really doesn’t matter because MS isn’t going to fix it. I do have to ship the old console in a couple days, I really wish that I could throw it at a homeless person.
Only been playing a couple hours. Killed the Armenians, fucked Michelle and the rest has been spent robbing people and watching TV. Rockstar out did themselves with this one.
May 7, 2008 at 11:14 am
yeah seen ya on this morning, i was to lazy to get up and get my headset for a chat.
May 9, 2008 at 7:26 am
Every comedian I like is either a character or a pedestrian in that game. Jim Norton is the porn shop owner. Bill Burr is Vlad’s daughter’s boyfriend. Anthony(opie and anthony) sings the Pissweiser commercial, does weasle new segs and is a mobster. Opie is a dirtbag outside the Irish pub. Patrice Oneil is on the radio, etc
I was drunk yesterday and shut the game off when I had to drive drunk from the bar. The screen wobble so much I felt like I was going to puke.
May 9, 2008 at 9:37 am
yeah, those guys are fucking great and provide some good laughs everytime i play the game. the drunk driving is fun as hell in online races lol. i still can’t believe how fucking amazing this game is.
May 9, 2008 at 5:29 pm
http://www.insidesocal.com/crime/
4 stories up from the bottom.
I guess posting that McD’s nigger poster is a hate crime hahahahaha
May 9, 2008 at 6:42 pm
it’s sad you can go to jail in this country for having a sense of fucking humor. i’m gonna play a joke on this town that the whole world’s gonna hear if they keep fucking with me about my pile of trees that i plan on burning this summer. they won’t give me a burn permit so i have a feeling lightning may strike it a few minutes before my independance day party. i’ll burn this whole motherfucker to the ground. this fucking country is 100% communist.
i played some texas hold ‘em last night with some real quality nignogs. they were calling eachother “soldier” and saying how superior the black people are to all other races. there’s nothing funnier to me than getting a bunch of blacks so pissed off that you can’t understand a single fucking word they’re saying.
May 9, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I’m at 20%…at the moment I’m fucking Michelle and hanging out with Little Jacob and Roman between stealing vehicles for Brucie. I wish I could hang out with Brucie as well….he’s genetically superior!
May 9, 2008 at 8:19 pm
i agree 100% Danza. If it said something lame like “No nigger in McDonalds” I wouldn’t care but that fucking poster only offends people so much because it is absolutely spot on.
Tibs, Whatever you do, do not fuck Carmen! she has aids and you die.
I’m at 44% and still wearing my off the boat gear. 200k in the bank but besides burgers and strippers there is nothing to buy.
Cause a traffic jam at any atm and collect big time acting like a negrow!
May 10, 2008 at 1:03 pm
i would like to try that shark testosterone that brucie uses.
May 10, 2008 at 5:34 pm
“are you saying that I have silly balls?!”
That was a great Brucie line.
May 10, 2008 at 11:15 pm
lol speaking of balls biseor needs to grow some and update this shit more often. those damned witches in berkley casting spells on marines at least deserve a quick mention.
May 31, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I’m at 70% now…….trying to get through the last mission. I hate fucking motorcycle missions.