Biseor’s Enviormental Tips – Awesome living
1. Recyclable cans, plastics, and paper go into your trash can.
2. Oil, chemicals, and other such things go into your trash can.
3. Computers, and computer components go into the trash can.
4. Your stupid prius can be buried in my backyard along with you in it.
5. Leave any lights, electronics, and other devices on at all times.
6. Buy non-biodegradable products.
7. Do not buy a laptop, buy a desktop computer, it uses much more power.
8. Do not use LED lights, they are for douche-bags, pussies, and ravers.
9. When flying, fly by private jet. If you can’t afford it, fly commercial, and buy up the seats around you!
10. When an environmentalist gets in your face for dumping your entire garbage can contents into his yard, punch him directly in nose. Quickly grab his glasses, and a paint brush. Soak up his blood into the paintbrush, and paint a large line over your door, so that the angel of death will pass-over your house. Later, you and your first-born can take turns stomping on your neighbors glasses for entertainment.
11. Increase your meat intake by 200%. If we all do this, it will make the vegan’s sacrifice be for nothing.
12. When your eco-minded neighbor takes part in a voluntary black out, set up a series of industrial strength construction lights outside, and point them at his house.
13. Litter. Often. It keeps retards employed.
14. If you ever eat at a vegan restaurant, go into the bathroom and shit all over floor, and if possible walls. It will make them think about their life choices.
15. Smoke. Smoke in public. Better yet, smoke in front of a public school. When approached and told to leave, blow a puff of smoke in the administrators face, toss the butt onto their foot, then say, “Fuck off grandpa”(Especially if the teacher is a woman). Congradulations, you’ve just taught the students watching an advanced lesson in badass.
16. Yes, driving an H2 means you’re a complete douchebag. Driving a standard issue military grade hummer with machine gun mounted on top means you’re awesome! I’d recommend driving it outside Greenpeace headquarters in park, revving the engine for hours at a time.
17. Coming soon!
December 22, 2007 at 9:14 pm
I moved into my new home about three years ago. The builder gave me 3 blue bins “for separation” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Thanks for the crawl space storage bins! Everything goes in the garbage bag, everything. I’ve wrapped car batteries in old blankets and green bagged them.
December 23, 2007 at 11:14 am
DANZA’S CITY TOLD HIM TO START PUTTING THE TRASH IN BAGS BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THAT TRASH CAN. WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER, THE GARBAGE TRUCK MASHES IT ALL UP AND DUMPS IT IN TEH SAME STINKY HOLE. CITY CAN LICK MY BALL. OK BYE.
January 12, 2008 at 3:49 am
I love my Biseor Tank Car….the smoke trail from the stacks can be seen from orbit. If some liberal bitches about it I give him a physics lesson by ventilating it’s car with the rail gun. It’s amazing how much damage a pin can do when its moving at 15,000 feet per second when it hits your Prius. *snicker*
January 19, 2008 at 6:29 pm
You forgot to always flush twice. Here in Vegas we are constatntly told to save water (for California). Fuck Hippies, flush twice. Wash your car 3 times a day, buy a house with a great big water hungry lawn. Hippies don’t like it, they can come meet a wood chipper and become part of my landscape the fuckers.