Kobe Bryant found dead in Georgia.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/cnet/20080814/tc_cnet/83011357731001710236

Looking at the evidence, there can be no doubt.

  • The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
  • The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
  • It is male.
  • It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
    five toes on each foot.
  • The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
  • Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five
    and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
  • From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
  • The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.) (Biseor’s Note: Probably the rest of the Lakers)
  • The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.

This is a sad and shocking day for rapists and basketball fans alike. Our thoughts and condolences go out to Kobe’s wife, Vanessa, who I will be having passionate, uninterrupted sex with this weekend.

This Saturday an open casket ceremony will be held in Los Angeles and will be open to all L.A. Laker fans. A line will then be formed, and each fan will be allowed to place one final kiss on the tip of the late basketball player’s flaccid penis.

As the world mourns, it asks the all important question, ‘Who will be the next little bitch that can throw a ball through a hoop really good?’

12 Responses to “Kobe Bryant found dead in Georgia.”

  1. fat nigger raid!

  2. battlesausage Says:

  3. Tom Green’s gotten so bitchy and soft over the years, after they took his baby maker it was all down hill.

  4. battlesausage Says:

    Comedy is all about timing and this girl should win a gold medal for it.

    Pam Anderson Goatse’d at 1:00

    Tom’s reaction at 1:00

  5. battlesausage Says:

    Comedy is all about timing and this girl should win a gold medal for it.

    Pam Anderson Goatse’d at 1:00

    Tom’s reaction at 1:00

  6. fat nigger raids are more fun in person also.

  7. Tom green even enjoyed this one…

  8. jerking off with your brother in the room is pretty cool.

  9. HAHAHAHHAA GOATSE!

  10. battlesausage Says:

    anyone who owns that homo mask from vendetta should be shot.

  11. battlesausage Says:

    The “Ook ooking” sounds that young apes make are very different from the adults.

    I wonder if that fat sheboon has taught them to say
    “GIBS ME AH DOLLAH” yet.

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